All my friends are going through hell right now, and I’m the friend who isn’t good at comforting people.
Knowing that my friends are unhappy makes me unhappy.
Now that I’m off for summer break:
I’m sorry that you wasted your time reading this list; my life is particularly boring.
When it rains, it really does pour. Every one of my friends, and myself included, has problems at the moment. It’s like, “why couldn’t you plan to have these things happen at different times?” but we all know that this isn’t possible. I feel like I can’t be a good enough friend at the moment because I can’t be ten places at once. I fell like elasti-gril from the Incredibles, being pulled in all directions. I’ll get through this though, I ‘spose.
From keeping up with classwork, keeping a social life with people who are in and outside of my school, and trying to take care of myself and others is taking a toll on me. I don’t mind taking care of my friends, they’re next to family to me. But it drives me crazy if I have to take care of friends who need it but don’t want help, but are actually crying out for it. There’s almost nothing I can do but stand by and tell them that I love them and that I want to help in any way that I possibly can. It makes me feel so helpless, and like I’m nobody to them. If I could have any power in the world, it would be to heal people in any form. I’m trying my hardest to do that now, but there’s not much I can do. If I fail, it’s not fair to my friend and I’d feel guilty for the rest of my life.
You can give a bird wings, but you can’t teach to fly if it doesn’t want to.
This weekend was so chaotic and stressful, but it turned out to be one hell of a time. On Friday, my roomate’s best friends and one of my best friends from back home came to visit and go clubbing later that night. It was so awesome having her friends over, and I hope they can come visit again soon. One of our best friends that we met last semester, Alana, came to stay for the weekend before she left for the semester for Scotland. All the while, we had to rush in order to finish the sexy calendar full of pictures of all of our friends that we planned making for her months before. Anyway, my roomate, my friend and her friends went clubbing in Philly after we greeted Alana, and I got heavily creeped on by some dude who was about to pass out. Clubbing isn’t really for me, and i don’t have to do it for a while haha. We came back, passed out by 4 and on Saturday I left at 1 to go to a baby shower for my cousin. It was so much fun seeing all the stuff he got, seeing all my family, and plus what college kid doesn’t like free noms? Ha. Then I came back to school, got sushi for dinner with the whole gang and sat in the fireplace area of our campus’ new building, while Alana opened her calendar, which she loved and I captured her reaction on my iPad. We went back to the dorms and played Quelf. Today, my roomate’s friends left, and I slept in, did laundry, walked Alana to the train station, then watched tangled for the first time and called it a night. It was really awesome having Alana visit. It made me realize how much I’ll miss her during the semester. It was a really busy and productive weekend, but I still didn’t get my homework done…
The primary purpose for college is for people to gain skills to qualify for a career, whereas it’s latent function is for college goers to learn how to take care of themselves, as well as mature emotionally.
The latent function is why I love college. I have learned so much this week already. I shouldn’t still have to pretend to be something I’m not, or force myself to become more agreeable in order to make someone else happy. This is not fucking high school. I should be the happiest I can possibly be every single day that I’m here, even if that means disappointing people.
I’m going to be the strongest that I possibly can be, in mind and spirit.